Observing many family relationships brings to mind wall building. Yes relationships are supposed to be about relating to one another and not block each other out. However, we humans build invisible walls, especially females. These protective layers against the hurts of interacting closely with another only delay processing the experiences necessary for growth.
Like the biblical “hardening of hearts” the protective walls nurturers build are part pride and part denial serving to keep others at a physical and emotional distance. We are selfish creatures; our pride and selfishness endangers our nurturing survival.
Thrival occurs when we allow the layers of our walls to come down. It is healthy to acknowledge our pain, feel it, and move through it. With love we heal. Love is humble, meek, and godly. Giving love can provide a different kind of protection, more like immunization, rather than walls.
Perhaps instead of pushing others away when hurt or afraid of a situation not being what I’d like I am going to acknowledge the discomfort or hurt (anger, fear, loneliness, frustration, lack of feeling loved or respected,etc) and allow myself to process the experience.
May you all thrive in love and find a way through the hurts of relating to those you love.