Robert Frost described it so well: that feeling at the end of a hard day/week/year you get when you know you are not done, not ready, or not able. I take lots of deep breaths and try to look at the bright side.
First, I made a dress. I had promised my daughter for three years or so that I would make her a holiday dress. The last few years I have been simplifying for both mental and physical health reasons so the dress was axed from the to do list. This year I promised if I couldn’t find one I would make one. It is difficult to find a modest somewhat formal dress for a teenager. Mini skirts and strapless just don’t work–so I found a pattern that could be modified to be modest and with the right fabric would be formal or semi-formal. The project was much more difficult than I expected and took much more time than I anticipated. I still have a bit to finish like ironing. I’m hopeful that this dress will be the fanciest Christmas dress she’ll have, unless she goes into the entertainment industry and has multitudes of fancy dresses. My family was not very patient while I took time to make this dress. They would rather I made dinner and spent time with them. Sacrifices.
Second, I have thought a lot about forgiveness. Forgiving myself, forgiving others, and hoping others will forgive me for their own sakes as much as my own. Forgiving myself takes layers. I think I’ve let the pain or the feeling of inadequacygo but there it is again staring me in the face.
Each year under our tree is a wooden treasure chest. We each put our gift to Jesus on a piece of paper and put it in the treasure chest. My gift this year is to truly forgive myself everyday so that I will be more open to His unconditional love to flow through me.
Thrival at this time of year depends on forgiveness and love. May you all be blessed this holiday seasonand throughout the year in all your nurturing. May you feel the love of our Savior Jesus Christ.