We wait. We wait for teenagers to come home. We wait for others to finish speaking so we can have our say. We wait for our turn. We wait to save enough. We wait for approval. We wait for life; we wait for death. In the waiting we fear, which manifests as hurt, worry, avoidance, discontent, dissatisfaction, anger, regret, remorse.
Wanting control we seek to organize others, put energy into tasks, focus on distractions. The nights are long and the days seem unproductive. Nothing seems to satisfy our need for control as we wait.
My Father-in-law was my second Dad. He was full of stories about his youth and of his many experiences. Some of them we heard a hundred times. He liked to take the opposition and argue a point for hours. Maybe he should of been a lawyer or politician but he was happiest in his vacuum shop helping customers. Dad was always helping people.
His sudden illness brought on waiting on our part. We couldn’t control the day or hour of his departure from this life and had to make daily decisions about waiting.
After several extremely stressful days, I realized I could choose to wait, trust in God that he knew exactly what we all needed and let go. In the moments I let go I was in control. I didn’t need to know the when or how or why. Peace is precious and I want to hang on to that. Dad would want that for all of us.