Semi-Hibernation Awesomeness 2022: #2 Universal Family Quilt

I love the comfort of a quilt, especially when it was created by someone who loves me. It has flaws and imperfections, loose threads, and worn out spots. Still, it comforts and warms, each thread essential in its wholeness.

The mortal concept that every human is replaceable conflicts with motivation towards survival. Reality dictates we are all replaceable. We want to believe our value lies in who we think we are, in what we accomplish, and what our potential is. We create stress and hurt around these beliefs. We create thoughts that we are never going to be enough and if we are not enough, we are not of worth. We feel we must overcompensate to prove we are of worth to those around us: at work, at home, in our communities.

What if we make peace with this mortal concept that we are replaceable? Self love is the bigger picture of worth. We can find ease with our emotions around the thoughts “I’m not enough”, “I’m not of worth if I don’t accomplish my expectations and/or the expectations of others”. A daily mindful practice is a powerful way to accept our replaceability and find peace.

A mindful practice includes breath work and following your in and out breathe. As you do this, a body scan from head to toe and noting physical sensations in your body becomes a powerful tool. As we become aware of physical sensations, especially those related to our thoughts and emotions, we observe those sensations with curiosity. That observance and curiosity of discomforts allows acceptance. Breathe into those physical sensations (feet hurt, shoulder tension, cheek heaviness, eye fatigue). Accept the sensations and you let go of resistance to discomfort. As you release resistance to discomfort, the discomfort decreases a little at a time and sometimes goes away.

The divine concept that every being is important in the fabric of the universe is the bigger picture. Yes, in mortality we are replaceable. We are replaceable in our jobs, in our communities, and in the world at large. We are not replaceable in our personal relationships because those are a part of an eternal experience.

The being that we are seems small, fragile, and alone. One replaceable thread-easily discarded.

In the fabric of the universe, our thread, our actions impact the universe within us and without. Our matter seen and unseen, is part of a greater concept, a universal textile where our one thread weaves into infinite other threads to create a living family quilt. A family quilt where we are irreplaceable.

May you take the time each day to practice mindfulness about the thoughts and the sensations in your body. May you accept that you are mortally replaceable so you can release resistance to the discomfort, create space for your divine thread, and flourish as an essential part of the universal family quilt.

“I try! I try! I try! Help, please.”

My young grandaughter is determined to learn things like putting on her shoes and clicking safety seat buckles by herself. If someone tries to do something for her she cries, “I try! I try! I try!”

After trying to complete the task for a while she asks, “Help, please.” (Sometimes her mom prompts the ask–I’m so proud of our offsprings nurturing. It’s so much healthier than my early parenting.) With assistance A is able to put on shoes or click safety buckle and she celebrates, “I did it!” and “Tank oo (thank you)”

Healthy growth comes through the try and try again–persistence. It also comes through asking for help. I am not very good at asking for help. I often tell people to do things or I do it myself.

Have you ever set out to complete a long list of tasks and Bam! Frustration Fumes! You feel short on time, skill, or strength to fulfill task? Instead of asking for help, do you plow ahead? Feel resentful? angry? Do you yell and scream at your task? other people? yourself?

Me–I’m raising both hands. I don’t feel I can ask others for help. And if I do I feel defeated. A failure. Why must I prove worth by succeeding at a task by myself?

Sometimes, when grandaughter A tried to click her buckle for a while and she couldn’t get it she would do the sign for and say, “All done.” It was time to get down and play. She gave herself permission to come back to that. Persistence can take a break!

What if we all gave ourselves permission to try three times or set amount of time (if I can’t get this done in three hours…) and then ask, “help, please”? What if we celebrated growth however it appears? What if we took a break when determination and practice didn’t give way to completion? Pema Chodron’s book, Fail, Fail Again, Fail Better, teaches this concept of learning through failure by accepting growth.

Grandaughter A taught me the joyful accord of healthy support:

1. Let me try by myself for awhile. Let me practice and grow. Let me realize it is safe to struggle. I allow others to try, to grow.
2. Let me ask for help. It is safe to ask for help. I am strong when I ask for help. I support others when they ask for help.
3. It is safe to allow others to assist and support me. It is safe to allow others to complete tasks.
4. It is safe to say, “All done,” and take a break from the try. It is safe to play and come back later to try again.
5. We can celebrate, “I did it! Thank you.” It is safe to celebrate collaborations and individual triumphs each progress step at a time.

May you feel safe in your persistence as you grow one try at a time. May you feel safe to ask for help. May you feel safe to take a break and play before you try again. May you feel safe to celebrate each step of growth. May your abundant nurturing fail better.

Semi-hibernation Awesomeness 2022 #3: The Knight and His Kryptonite

Once upon a time lived a damsel most stressed. She navigated the world with a map in a language she didn’t understand. She tried to adapt and please those around her. People around her didn’t seem pleased. The damsel most fair and talented doubted her contributions and worth. Her heart heavy she found a tower and resided there a while.

Along came a knight, strong and brave. He rescued the damsel. The damsel and the knight joined their lives together. They didn’t speak the same language but loved each other deeply as they tried to create their own language together. They raised amazing peacemakers and scholars, artists everyone.

Both the damsel and the knight experienced pain and sorrow. The wide world battered and torn them.

One day the knight swallowed kryptonite and his strength diminished. He was filled with kryptonite. His bravery diminished too. He could no longer fight and protect as he once did. The damsel tried everything she knew to rescue her knight. They went to wise ones and read texts of healing-nothing repaired the knight. Wounded and weary he locked himself in the tower. The damsel wept.

Then the damsel offered the knight the only thing she could-her heart. He had a piece of it all along but now she gave it all to him. Althought the kryptonite remained, the knight came out of the tower and dwelt with the damsel side by side. Their adventures were few but rich. Their love intertwined into a great garden. A garden that fed many people. Even with great affliction and sorrow they found a happily ever after.

May you thrive in your kryptonite and with all your heart reap the blessings of love which is happiness.